“Human beings love chaos because we love to produce order out of it’”
– Unknown
So true. If you love order, you have to love chaos. If you like to solve problems, and wonder why does problems keep showing up in your life, it’s probably part of your growth to realise that this is inevitable if you love answers and solutions.
I have a revelation one day – My ability to live with more ease and release myself from struggles is the ability to navigate the paradoxes in my life. Many of our stuck beliefs are usually some form of paradox at play. And because our mind tend to only see one or the other, we are sometimes thrown into the sense that we are stuck. When everything is as complete as it can be.
I did a values exercise many years back, and one of my values was Freedom. I was so attached and proud of this value that I refuse to set a fixed routine and discipline around my day as I felt that it worked against my ethos of being free. I ended up being locked by my dread and guilt, because I have yet to exercise again, I didn’t read the book I wanted to read or I wasn’t present with my loved ones.
Because with no plan, I just reacted to anything that pops up within my attention and all my time thinking about how I should be exercising and reading. My belief of freedom had paradoxically locked me up in rumination and an unfulfilled life. It probably took me 5 years or more to become fully embodied in this new frame of mind where I embrace both freedom and routine as a whole. It became easier overtime. If someone had said to me few years earlier, ‘if you love freedom, you have to love routine’, he or she will probably get a big eye roll from me.
Sit: Practice of Not too Loose; Not too Tight.
How does mindfulness help us to navigate paradox in life – the idea is of ‘middling’. This is not something vulgar. But realise that mindfulness practice is really about navigating this sense of tightness and looseness in the body.
‘Mind is way too chaotic today, I hate it!’ Sense this resistance and tension building up in the body. Notice it.. and we ease off. It’s ok, this is here. It’s ok. Let me ease into what is here.
‘I have just slept for more than half the practice. Oh well, might as well continue sleeping.’ Not just once. but almost everyday. When it’s too loose; we remind ourselves of the intention and regain our composure without being overly critical. Maybe it can be ‘Oh, I fell asleep. It’s ok. Let me start anew in this moment.’
It’s a sense of ease navigating the extremes; and that it is human nature to drift towards the polarities. All we do when we practice is to notice and ease.
Reflect and comment below:
Do you tend to need clarity in black and white, right or wrong? Is there a repeated situation that you feel stuck in? Are you rejecting something that is essential to what you love?
Mindfulness – Tapping into reality – as it is – in each moment to bring about growth and change authentic to your unique being. Master the skill to navigate you; to live with ease as you are.
Learn with Ming Mindfulness. Share and Subscribe.
