This insight arises from a conversation with a dear friend. I shared that I was lying in bed one day and feeling very disconnected from the role or identity as a mother. That it still never ceases to amaze me that the full human being somewhere in this house is my daughter.
‘When did that happen?’
‘How can that be?’
This dawned on me – I feel most like a mum when I feel like I am failing at it.
As I recall the conversation, it made sense because you can only feel you are failing at something if you have over-identified with a role, and claimed full ownership over the responsibilities. When in fact, you don’t own your children, nor are you just a mum. And I see clearly in my mind that the perceived meaning of ‘mum’ is now laden with burden, responsibilities or even shame and failure. So I guess it is ok to have that strange hint of detachment, and love that person in the home who loves me back. I don’t have to feel like a parent… a mum.. to love deeply.
It’s ok.
Reflect and Comment below: What role do you identify with? Is it a role that you are glad to identify with? Or is it one that felt quite tight and burdened?
