I Keep Quiet

For two years, I learn to be quiet
I must confess it was not a spiritual quest 
It was myself I feared
I, who had forgotten honesty, 
just so I could impress

What is truth
I really cannot see
The emotions we cage
The dramas we stage
A show specially for me 

I see the gushing pain in the heart
Longing to be heard
Spreading like poison in the blood
And it was better I didn’t speak
Till I was sure it wasn’t drama I seek

I had to listen; I can’t figure it out
Too angry, too jealous, too proud?
Quiet was the only way out.

Before I know it, quiet became a habit
Listening too
Acknowledging pain
Watching the pain 
And self-love too

As pain dissolves
in the love
The fear shall too

Now pain comes and goes as usual
It’s ok. 
It’s free
It’s less likely to lunge wildly
at people that disagree

Occasionally it still lunges at me
Then “shh”.. be quiet
Listen and see
For it fades on its own when it’s not disowned
It likes to know that it is known

In the quiet 
You will see

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