We have an addiction to the feeling of finishing.
When we were kids, finishing first, finishing homework, examinations, finishing school. There is an adrenaline rush in ending and closing something and never have to look at it again.
A big part of this comes from the conditioning of being outcome oriented. There is also a lack of opportunities to learn how to pace and appreciate our journey moment to moment. Likely this also gives rise to a lot of anxiety and existential angst.
Inevitably, many of us might come to this conclusion in life (after a lot of unnecessary striving) that there really isn’t a ‘real’ goal and outcome that gives us permanent satisfaction. In fact, the longing for it, and the striving for it perpetuates our pain and discontentment.
There’re so many things in life with no clear endings. A fulfilling career? The retirement? Moment of death? When is the end to being a parent, or a caregiver when you do become one?
The mindful practice to learn to slow down and realize meaning can be found in the here and now is simple to say but challenging to practice. Because it runs counter to what is conditioned in many of us for decades – to want tangible and visible results. Can we then give ourselves patience and time to practice this skill? We might not need 30 years, just practicing mindful pausing for a minute a day, you would have done it 365 times a year.
Your mind can only provide you something automatically if you do it repeatedly.
Even if it’s something that we know is good for us and our well-being, we need to repeatedly do it before our mind registers it. Yes, the mind is smart, but not that smart. Always remind yourself that our habitual conditioning is blocking our new intention and learning. The only way to ‘unlearn’ is to learn a new skill the same way – conditioning. Just that this new conditioning is a conscious choice of growth and change.
Practice and Reflect:
Take a pause even for a minute by following these simple steps:
- Observe how are you in the mind and body
- Focus on your breathe for as long as you like.
- Finish by expanding your awareness to sense the breath, the body and the space around you.
Ponder upon this and Comment Below:
It’s never the end till it’s actually the end.
And we might never actually know what the end is.
Live Now.
– Jace Loi
