I spent most part of my life dealing with a lot of fear and anxiety. Each time I crash, I took a while to recover. It always comes back to this point when I needed to step into the uncomfortable again.
This happened early last year. I was journaling profusely about the fear I sensed in the body and I wrote, ‘Who is going to catch you when you fall??” To my biggest surprise, there was an answer almost immediately.
‘I am catching you’
This is the most moving thing I have ever heard myself saying to myself. Such a sturdy and clear voice. I can’t even believe it. In fact, I was so moved that I cried. Who know it feels so good to have faith… Who knows it feels so good to finally learn to trust…
To love… To love me.
I was not expecting mindfulness practice to offer me anything more than relaxation. I was sorely mistaken. Indeed, the biggest gift we can offer ourselves is to be familiar and intimate with all versions of our experiences. Our demons become allies the moment we start to practice. The journey of preparing yourself for yourself. To finally feel like I can be ready for myself. And so I say to myself –
“Take the leap.
I can and I will catch you if you fall.”