In the past couple of weeks, to grapple with my own fear and anxiety over uncertain outcomes, I repeated this mantra to myself – ‘Is this worth failing in?’ This mantra came about because, ultimately.. we die.
Whenever I fall into tunnel vision or petty views, I set my eyes on that endpoint that is certain. That goal and outcome that is certain and will never disappoint. That’s the only way I can serve my life properly.
It’s not that I don’t fear death and the uncertainties it brings. I do fear death, fearing more of the ‘how’ it would happen. I am terrified of it, but I consciously practice embracing the certainty of death.
To embrace the end of life brings about fewer inner arguments for me. It makes almost every question an easier one. It makes prioritising easier. It makes the seeing of my values easier. It creates space for the difficult.
‘I know shame and failing is hard. But is this worth ‘mega failing’ in? Is this worth trying again and again in this limited life?’
‘Is it worth loving a little bit harder today?’
‘Is it worthwhile to say what I truly feel and connect a little deeper?’
‘Is it worthwhile to stop and look at the sky or feel the breeze?’
‘If there is a next life, would I come back and do this again? Totally!’
This moment is precious and beautiful because I confront the end again and again, and again.
Sit and Practice
Practice observing endings in your breath.
This new breath is precious, is new, is full of possibilities.
Watch it finish, allowing the sense of completion to engulf your being.
Observing the finish, let it go and let it end.
It’s not even up to you to hold on to it; you end up struggling if you do.
And then noticing the freshness once again, maybe even thankful to start all over again.